Bored...

Well the weather continues to be delightful, but the Seychelles continues to be crap. I was back onboard yesterday at 5pm cos there is nowhere to go and nothing to do. Some people say I shouldn't moan, but it makes me feel much better.

On a lighter note, in the bar last night I had placed a wager with one of the lads - who can grow the best moustache over four days. Now usually I wouldn't even go down that road, being 28 going on 12, but I think can win this one! This is gonna be fun.

God the things you do when you have nothing to do in the Seychelles...

So bored...

Oh my God - there is nothing at all to do in the Seychelles besides sit on a beach or sit on a beach. Some people may like that but its not my idea of fun!

I have been watching the new season of Family Guy, but that only took up a few hours which means I now have nothing at all to do. There isn't even anything happening up in the radio room! Oh god at least I only have 5 days of this eternal boredom left - then homeward bound for mega party!

My tan is coming along rather nicely though...!

Not a lot to do...

Ahoy there from a sunny Seychelles!

With Christmas only round the corner there really isn't alot happening in Roy land. It really doesn't feel very Christmasey at all, mainly due to the bakin hot weather and there not being many decorations up ashore. But I am making up for it with my continued partying!

Went ashore yesterday at 9am on the premise of getting some postcards and finding a net cafe. Thankfully, for a change I managed to do both before everyone else came ashore and dragged me (Kickin' and screaming I might add!) to the local bars. Not a mad one though - was back onboard by 8 in the evening. The heat really does take it out of ya. Strangely this doesn't seem to happen very often back home!

They Seychelles is nice but why anyone in there right mind would pay thousands of pounds to come out here is beyond me. Besides the nice beaches and stunning scenery there isn't that much to do, to be honest, besides sit on the beach admiring the stunning scenery - oh and get a tan! Still its better than credit crunched UK though!

Speaking of the UK I have begun packing in preperation for my big journey home in just 10 days! Oh I am sooooooo excited now. Not long. I hope everyone has booked the Monday off, cos I can see a long party weekend when I am home...

Oh and it Christmas tomorrow!

Life is good.

Seychelles Day 2

Well we finally got to the buoy yesterday and shore leave was granted! Yeah I am in the Seychelles!!! As ever I quickly got changed and msde sure I was (as usual) the first person down the gangway. We chug chugged away for a couply of minutes to the shore on what I would consider the most rickety boat I have ever been on and I am in the RFA - how it floated was beyond me. But one rollercoaster ride of a journey we arrived at the shore, in the not so sunny Seychelles. Its still warm though.

Anyway, straight outside the gate of the port was a nice little bar where we proceeded to have some drinkey drinkey yum yums. The only drawback of this place was that you could see the ship from its windows - you don't travel ashore to be reminded of where you have to live, sleep and work (occasionally). So we left there and proceeded to frequent every bar we could find. But oh no! We have to be back to the port to catch the last boat. Running is not my thing so much coughing, gasping and general exercise later we arrived at the port with about five minutes to spare. But where is the boat? Midnight, quarter past, twenty past, still no boat. Being extremely drunk and just wanting to get back the ship this was becoming rather tiresome. We rang the ship and an hour later what can only be described as a rowing boat came and got us. I wore my life jacket on that thing...

This morning wasn't too bad. I was duty so had to float about looking busy (very good at that - piece of paper in your hand and everyone thinks you are rushed of ya feet) so it passed off quite well. Still got a bit of a headache though - its not the booze, I must be coming down with something (yes its probably withdrawl!).

Off again tomorrow so planning to go ashore and do it all over again.

Will I ever learn?

We got to the Seychelles in one piece!

Yeah for RFA Disaster!

We arrived safe and sound at the Seychelles and are currently at anchor. Shore leave isn't granted till tomorrow which means we all have to stay onboard tonight knowing land is only a hop skip and a jump away. But I don't suppose it realy matters. What difference does a day make?

Its meant to be real expensive here, but with me being imune from the so called credit crunch it doens't really bother me. Come all the way to the Seychelles and not enjoy myslef? Never! Oh I am rather excited!

And on another exciting note - I only have 13 days to go. Hurah! I am really looking forward to coming home now - and how home will have changed. The city centre is completely different from when I was last home, hopefully that spider has gone, my home is currently being renovated and I have over three months leave to sample it all!

13 days to go...

Another day in paradise

Ah the voyage of the damned contniues aplenty!

Another exciting day passed by with little much happening. I woke up this morning at about ten feeling rather good so decided I may aswell go and do another hour of sunbathing. Its starting to grow on me actually. I don't think I could sit on a beach doing it all day, but walking round the upper deck, with the sea breeze in your face is rather refreshing. As we approach the equator its getting rather warm, so I made sure I didn't stay out too long!

Off to my watch which entailed the usual nothing. And when I say its dead, I mean its dead. Deaderer than dead even. Much web browsing later I had my fire exercise to look forward to. Oh and what a joy it was to behold. Regular readers will will see that my previous efforts at these type of things usually end in either someones death, lots of lost people or me throwing up due to excessive amounts of alcohol the night before. Strangely none of these things happened and it went rather well. It must be cos I am coming home in a few weeks - or perhaps all that sun has gone to my head.

After that too the bar which was surprisingly busy. We are lucky if there are five people in there some nights! But no it was double figures last night. Crazy. We must get a bouncer on the door with one of those clicker things to make sure its safe - healf and safety you know! The bar looks very Christmasey now that I have decorated it (as Mess President its my responsibility to do these things) and we all got into the spirit of the night with a few drinks and some Xmas snacks.

Now I must remember when I am in work next...

Not long now...

Oh god what an incredibly boring day.

Nothing at all is happening on this heap of junk. I have looked at everything on the internet, twice. And it still wasn't that interesting the second time round. Oh dear... I even ended up sunbathing for two hours today. And I hat sunbathing. Really hate it. But it would be rude to go home paler than when I left all those months ago. Oh how I want to be home soon - luckily I am so I don't know why I am complaining.

They are having a big fire exercise tomorrow which should be a barrel of laughs. Can't wait for that. It usually entials me sending people to the wrong place and then blaming them for not listening to my instructions properly! I will muddle through knowing that once its all over I can go down the bar for a drinkey drinkey yum yum. I haven't been down the bar for days. Dunno why. I think I should and soon. I could even go tonight, but don't thik I will. We will see. Yes see. Ummmm beeeer. See. Resist Roy!

I'm coming home!

Its official campers! I will be home on Sunday, 4th January. I land at Heathrow just after seven then board my Virgin Pendolino to Liverpool arriving bang on midday! I can't wait now and am getting really excited.

I hope everyone is going to be there to meet me. I would prefer banners, a brass band and maybe Granada.

And this is absolutely hilarious - you can;t make stuff like this up: (From the Liverpool Echo)

Clown brings chaos to Merseyrail

A SOUTHPORT woman dressed as a clown drove her car onto a live train track.
The 57-year-old had a lucky escape on Saturday when she ended up on the line at Crescent Road level crossing, Birkdale, Southport.
It is understood the woman, who was wearing a curly blonde wig, painted red cheeks, a green jacket and stripy socks, thought she was turning into Dover Road when she ended up on the track at 5.30pm.

Oh the shame!

See you in a few weeks campers!

Off we go again!

Not more work!

How rude!

I was expecting to be on a flight some time next week to the oasis of calm that is Liverpool. But nooooooooooo, the ship is desperately needed somewhere to support some other ship doing something. As ever I have to be incredibly vague, but where we are going is going to be ace for Xmas day on the beach and very warm. I am trying my hardest to whinge and wine about it, but its really going to be quite good. So instead of whinging and wineing, I will just drink lots of wine and whinge about the hangover the following day. Nice. I did get an email telling when I was due off the ship, but they don't seemed to have realised we will be at sea. I know they are trying to save money, but making me swim home is taking it a bit far. And what about all those sharks? Well I shouldn't really worry - I would only be good as a toothpick!

Had an ace time in my last port. Got to admit though it was real expensive with the dodgy exchange rate and not alot there, but me being me I can have a party in a fone box with no money! Glad to have left no though. I spent an absoulte fortune. Luckily I am not affected by the credit crunch, so continue to spend spend spend. It would be rude not to.

So as I continue to live the dream, it was announced today we are going to have a BBQ tomorrow on the upper deck. How nice. This usually involves copious amount of alcohol, dodgy BBQ food and a jolly good laugh. Luckily I am off aswell, so don't have to worry about stumbling back to work. Yeah for Roy!

I know its hard to believe from all the fone calls, emails and texts, but I do do some work every now and then. I just hide it well.

I was very ill yesterday

Oh dear, after y usual chinangins I was very very ill yesterday. Saturday started off so well. Me and one of the lads went down to the Bahrain Hard Rock Cafe and had a luvly meal and a few drinks. This however degnerated into my partying till 4 in the morning. Getting up at about twelve I thought I would brave the outside world and went ashore.

Big mistake.

Upon arriving at the Coffee Shop I immediately had to make the 10 yard dash to the loo's and then threw up, over and over and over again. Classy!

I stumbled back the ship about an hour later only to make numerous more phone calls on the porcelain telephone. I then lay in bed all night feeling very sorry for myself.

I feel ace today though so am going down the bar for one or two, before we sail for a few days. Back in port next week though. Where - nobody knows!

Be good everyone!

How rude - I'm working...

Being the nice person I am I decided I would cover a few duties this week so that the lads can get there wives/girlfriends out.So I have to work today, tomorrow, Wednesday and Sunday. Now as ever I use the term work very very loosely, but it does mean I won't be able to lounge around some pool somewhere on those days.

I could always run a really long cable to the pool from the ship...

I know hell exists - I was there all day yesterday!

Ahoy all!

As ever my life continues to revolve around partying, sunbathing and generally not doind a lot to be honest. But is anyone asks I am working damn hard.

Well on Thursday I decided we should have a big night out. The problem was I was on a half day so dragged on of the girls ashore with me at 12pm, on the premise of doing some shopping. Unfortunately this turned into much drinking, starting at about 2 in the afternoon. Blind drunk by about 7 we thought it would be a really good idea to go clubbing, so stumbled bach the ship, ganged up on a fe of the lads forcing them to go out and went clubbing. Much crazy dancing and drikking later I looked at my watch and it was now 3 in the morning. OH OH! Someone is in work soon. After waiting what felt like an eternity I got to bed at 4 only to have to get back up at 7.

It was not a good start to the day. My mouth tasted like I had eaten a bag of gravel, washed down with a glass of mud and then just for good measure a bit more gravel. Stumbling up to work I made my excuses and went off to find some work. Thats what they thought anyway. I just went back to my cabin and lay on my bed till 10.30. Feeling very, very sorry for myself. Rousing myselrf back to life I went back to work then disappeared on the premise of finding some 'paint' to go and 'paint' something. This meant going back to bed. I woke up at 1245 only to throw up everywhere - not a good start to the afternoon. Then went back the shack and disappeared again. This time though I did find some paint. Didn't paint anything tho - but at least it looked like I was working.

Nearing towards the end of the day I finally thought thank god I can go to bed proper soon. But nooooooooo. Lets throw in a fire exercise and the end of the day. Alarms going off everywhere are not good for someone who has the hangover from hell. Thinking at least this would be a good scive I trundled down the gangway ashore to get out the way. Nooooooo... Chief Engineer comes up to me and tells me he is impressed with the way I run the incident board so would I do it otherwise things that end would fall apart. I grunt of agreement I started doing what I am trained to do. But then I could feel the puke stirring in my stomach. I was gonna throw up everywhere!!! This would not have been a good idea with the Captain, Chief Engineer and Chief Officer all beside me. Cold sweats and a haze of realization that I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold down last nights takeela slammers I nearly thru up, but very clasily swollowed it back down, saving it for the invetiable later. Luckily the exercise finished not much later and I ran back to my cabin and made a phone call on the porcelain telephone. Nice.

I went ashore hoping to feel a bit better, but gave up after half an hour realizing I was neither use nor ornament sitting in a pub feeling sorry for myself.

Feel ace today though!

You can't make it up!

Well as ever in the RFA things don't go according to plan.

Yesterday they were making me do something called 'work'. Completely shocked and bamboozled by this new phrase, I looked it up in the dictionary and was astounded to find that I should have been doing it for the past few years. One not liking change I have chosen to ignore it.

Anyway, the ship had to do an adandon ship drill (crazily) whilst along side. So they needed two volunteers to go in the life boats and go into the water. Always one for a scive I couldn't resist. Off they go lowering the life boats into the water. Me a few deckies and someone else and drop the boat into the water. Start the engine. Ah but it soesn't seem to work. We began drifting dangerously close to other ships and were about to get the oars out when the wind changed and pushed us back toward the ship. We crashed into the side and were eventually rescues by another boat.

If the ship should ever be sinking I think I will take my chance in the water! One of the other boats has a hole in it so began sinking!

Join the RFA - you know it sounds fun and safe!

Oh and one more thing...

Set you alarm clocks, note it in your diary, plan to leave the country....

I will now be back home on the 14th Januaryish....

Week One in Bahrain

Well hellow there everyoone - I thought I would update you to all my goings on whilst in Bahrain.

As ever it has been eventful and much drunkedness, but every now and then I do have civilized moments, like now, I have just eaten in a delightful coffee shop and am presently sipping a cup of earl grey. But don't tell anyone - I don't want to damage my reputation!

We arrived over a week ago and on the first night I was one of the first people up the road (obviously) and went straight to the Ex-pat club here in Bahrain. Faaaaaar too much booze later I was cajooled into jumping into the swimming pool, fully clothed. The promptly caused a riot with the management threatening to ban the RFA from the club. Much apologizing later, this calmed down. I think. We then went clubbing. I remember drinking champagne and dancing like a fool (but one who can dance rather well) on some stage somewhere. I arrived back on the ship just before four REALLY looking forward to getting up for work at 7!

Once up and about (I use the term very very loosely) I decided it was in my best interests to probably keep a low profile on Saturday. So I generally pottered about the ship, hiding when anyone with any authority walked by. I stumbleed thru what seemed like the longest fours hours in the world and went to bed at midday. I didn't get up until the following morning. Must have been all that hard work I was doing.

On Sunday I felt it was now safe to go ashore and we got very very drunk again, no pool this time though. On the way back the ship we were in a Yank bus and we invited them all onboard. They couldn't believe we had four bars onboard and compared our ship to a cruise ship. Now I haven't ever been on a cruise ship (some might say my life is one big cruise, but we won't talk about that) but they seemed to think it was. Fools. No wonder we chose not to rule them anymore!!!! They were a real good laugh and by the time they stumbled down the gangway they were very very drunk and we proceeded back ashore to go clubbing. Nooooo idea what time I got back.

The next few days were much of the same, until we sailed for a week, which actually turned out to be 18 hours. Dunno why. I don't think we broke down and I couldn't smell anything burning so it can't have been that. Well anyway we got back into port and proceeded ashore once again. Got very drunk (see the recurring theme here) and stumbled back faaaar to late but still managed to get up for work.

Yesterday was another generally civilized day. I have discovered a luvly coffee shop with wifi which allows me to sit hereb typing this. Tomorrow the Americans are taking me and one of the girld go-karting as a thanks for the ace time onboard RFA Disaster, the followiing day I am going shopping and over the weekend I plan to go to the waterpark. Oh and I might do some work inbetween (but no promises!).

Don't you wish you had a 'job' like me!?

Not long now..... I think.

Ahoy there all!!!

Well we get into port today. Allegedly.

It really has been touch and go as to whether we would get in. At one point HQ where going to send us somewhere else. Until they realised we weren't in the right ocean. Or hemisphere. In fact we were not at all anywhere near where they though we were. This all seemed very strange until we realised they had rang the wrong ship. Only in the RFA! And the ships programme has changed twice in 24 hours - right ship this time though. I think.

I am sooooooooooo excited. I can't wait to get in and go the pub. And drink and drink and drink. I may even treat some Yanks to a pint. Then show them how to drink. Don't they know we used to rule the world? At one point we even owned them! They may have all this fancy kit, expensive ships and nice weather - there HQ may even know the right telephone numbers for there ships, but hey we Brits can drink 'em under the table!!!!!!!!!

Updates via Facebook from tommorrow (if we get in) until (if) we sail.

Good news - Sky Channels coming back to Virgin!

Good news everyone - the Sky channels are coming back to Virgin. This means I will be able to fast forward, rewind and pause just like a DVD the crap Sky show aswell now! YEAH!

From Virgin:

Sky's bouquet of basic TV channels including Sky1 and Sky News are to return to Virgin Media's digital cable service on November 13..The Sky basic channels will be spread across each tier of Virgin's cable TV service: Sky3, Sky News and Sky Sports News will be available in the lowest M tier; Sky1 and Sky2 will be available in the L tier; and Sky Arts 1, Sky Arts 2, Sky Real Lives and Sky Real Lives 2 will join the XL tier.

Just over a month to go!

Oh well campers it looks like I will be home early!

They cant' afford to keep me out here so I have the pleasure of coming home early. Luck old me. I haven't budgeted for it but will have to make ends meet! Its gonna be fun - I will now be home for Xmas, New Year and my birthday. Hey hey!

I do however have to take a weeks holiday somwhere along the line to ensure I get my tax back - its worth it though for £5000!!!! Imagien the fun I can have with that....

We get into our next port soon - things are really quiet on here at the moment. Absolutely nothing - and I mean nothing is happening. Oh roll on December...

Halloween Ball Pix - Me as Snack Size Action Man

Oh well we had the halloween party and it was ace. I only have very vague recollections of it but everyone had a really good time and about 15 people out of a crew 40 turned up which was ace. I really felt ill the next day though - but thats what a whole bottle of vodka will do to you!

Haloween Party Tonight

Wooooo

Arrghh!

Tonight is our haloween party. We have decorated the bar and all have our costumes ready. I look ace as Snack Size Action Man....

Will post the pix tomorrow....